spender

Always caught in the dilemma as to buy or not to buy. buy means waste money. not to bus means thinking of it. ugh. anyways, wanted to buy the strip top i saw in Cotton On couple weeks ago yesterday, but it's out of stock. either that or not manufacturing it ever again :( sad ttm... Then... while browsing through the clothes I spot this YELLOW BLAZER! okay, not exactly blazer, more of a blazer look a like cardigan. costs 30 plus. Good buy?? shall contemplate a little more before making a decision. heh. yea, thats me.

next, wanted to buy the groupon cable car ride pls other deals in Sentosa for like 39 per pax, for my whole family of 5 people. That should cost around 200. BUT mum says no. So... decided not to go for it. Instead, we shall save it for our Taiwan trip! :) Should start having a Taiwan trip piggy bank lololol

NEXT, even more spending money issue coming up. just 2 weeks more to get the new phone! whether I will go for $0 phone is still left hanging. BUT, currently its either ill go for Nokia Lumia 900? aye the latest la, or iPhone 4. Yes, not the latest. iPhone 4 is nice and good enough. But both would mean Ive to top up money from $198 to around $300 la and on top of that, buying iPhone 4 would mean dataplan and that I have to get myself a line and a dataplan which costs a bomb together with the top ups. so you see... for or against?

yea thats bout it. 3 little things that costs 3 big bombs in the pocket. :/ not as if Im filthy rich meh

Pearl Harbour

damn nice! enjoy!

CHECK CHECKED CHECKERED

mid June's check list!

This summer, I'd like to:


1. Discover something new.
camera maybe? gotten my pink holga!
2. Get a job.
hmm... working as holidays full time tutor loh.
3. NOT get a tan.
yes, im definitely not getting a tan. But not that I dont go under the sun.
4. Visit the Art Science Museum. (HARRY POTTER EXHIBITION)
THIS HAS TO BE DONE SOON! HAS TO BE CHECKED OFF THE LIST!!
5. Korean Language
coming Thursday will be the third lesson. Pray that it'll be good.
6. BAKE!
Im lazy to bake lol perhaps end June? I didnt even get myself a proper oven for baking purposes la. mehh
7. Be 45kg.... get slim please elaine ugh
My weight forever hovers around 45.5 to 48kg. why huh? Cant it just shed that 0.5kg for just like a day? or an hour or something. JUST TO SATISFY MY 45KG DREAM?!
8. Shop!
shopped. but was NEVER ENOUGH hhahahah free flow money please.
9. Organise my 21st party proper :/ really vvvvvvvv troublesome
venue settled. buffet catering almost settled. just need to ring them up... hmm DECORATIONS IS A BIG HURDLE TO CROSS. You know Im bad in art/designing. ugh
10. Maybe youtube cover?
was never done. lol too afraid to upload my sore vocals lol maybe just one... or maybe none.
11. jalanjalan with friends
yea, outing with friends. same as shopping. was NEVER ENOUGH
12. JUNE PROJECT DIRECTING. burn weekends burn. burn May burn.
June's Project was a blast last saturday. Mindblown.
13. Watch. A. Truckload. of Movies and Drama.... that I don't have to analyse and all that crap. -.-
watched WGM, RM, LOVE YOU. too many dramas, too little time. lol im even stressed watching too many dramas at one go hahah
14. AND AND AND, maybe a short getaway trip to say BKK or Batam? Needing that nod from parents :/
no, no trip overseas. hmm perhaps a family trip end year to taiwan!! :D shall put this on hold and keep hoping for! lol

Love sick

It was the first time feeling like this 

My entire heart has been taken from me 

What do I do? What should I do? 

In front of you, I become ice 

I ruin it all with good-for-nothing words 

You might have thought that I was stupid 

Why did you make me like this 

 Give it back to me, my heart that you took without knowing 

Why did you come inside without permission, without warning and shake me up? 

You burn me up and make me cry 

I pray every day for the day you will look back to me 

Can’t you see me as a woman? 

Is it already too late? 

It was the first time I got to know love 

I can’t hide this face 

Everything about me was caught 

What do I do? What should I do? 

 When I see you, I turn white 

I run away like a child 

You might have thought I was arrogant and strange 

Why did I change like this? 

 Give it back to me, my heart that you took without knowing 

Why did you come inside without permission, without warning and shake me up? 

You burn me up and make me cry I pray every day for the day you will look back to me 

Can’t you see me as a woman? 

Is it already too late? 

It was the first time I got to know love 

 Will it get better if I’m love sick like a cold? 

What happens if I’m love sick again? 

 Please take it away, this love that opened my eyes to you 

Why did you come to me without caution, without sound and shake me up? 

You make me want you and be in pain 

I hope every day for the day you will finally acknowledge me 

Can’t it be fulfilled just once? 

I’ve waited for a long time 

It was the first time I got to know love

-

GG. Im love struck.

lovely life

HARROW.

June Project's over. And Im missing it already. I would want to thank all the souls that make this happen. The main comm, the directors (us), the scriptwriters, the backstage logistics, make up, costume, emcee, lightings, sound, ushers, exhibition guides, my casts, their trailblazers who took care of them, fringe item musicians, sydc, and all who attend it. Pardon me if Ive missed you out cos its really a very very big production put together by hundreds and thousands of people. A BIG THANK YOU! (I doubt anyone involved would read this anyway hahha cos no one knows the existence of my blog) an at most 2 months of preparation time starting from mid April, its neither too short or long, but definitely a challenging time period for us to produce an awesome show and exhibition. And all this is only possible through our student division. Cos, we strive forward with a common goal in mind. Many in Body, One in Mind.

my directors' team! :D

Perhaps a short, i hope I dont get all too excited in the midst of writing that I wrote too long, testimonial. :) 

This year gonna be a victorious year for me Ill say. This is regardless of all the obstacles, failures, victory I face, the essence of "victory", is not to give up. Keep on striving forward despite the strong currents going against you. Its obviously not easy, but once you kept pushing forward no matter what result it might be, you will be joyous and it is definitely a result that you truly deserve and the best that you get. My year started off with Chingay intensive trainings, and I had to cope with my studies as my prelims is in 2 months time, March. In chingay, in our own groups we united varying from 29 to 32 people. And, as actual event goes even nearer, all of the groups, the blocks united together to a form a ginormous army of thousand bodies but one in mind. This is my first time being a trainer in events that Soka participated in. I have always deep down wanted to be a trainer. Do you know why? Cos... I used to participate in NDP and Chingay but "failed" to achieve victory when I was younger. So i thought, does this mean I must get a bigger role to meet even greater challenge so I can get a conspicuous i.e. evident victory report? The latter question holds true. But this doesnt mean the former question is true too, when I was young, I failed to realise that benefits come in 2 forms; conspicuous and... non conspicuous. Allow me to move on. Chingay trained me into a person who is even more open, sociable and sincere person. It is true that Im not exactly the person my friends see me as. A very quiet, emotional, temperamental kid lives inside me. And, I dont like her. But sometimes I do like her a lot when she's quiet, cos she will think about big and long sighted visions. She has that wisdom that barely anyone outside her family sees. Chingay is also an avenue that opens even greater mission in my life. I attended the TG sessions with 20plus comrades, and Im sure we grew a lot through that. Reading, chanting and communicating do not stop when TG's over, it is a life long journey. And... Chingay opens up TG, opens up the June Project that Ive been talking about. And so, I got involved in June Project as the assistant director. In the initial phase, the directors team wasnt too sure of what to do, and ended up taxing our scriptwriters. This is our bad for not researching in depth into our role, we must be independent. TG and June Project was held one after another and over-lapping. And in the midst of chionging for both, my exams period creeps in knowingly. yes, Im aware of my school work. I did pretty good for prelims and as a results i was too stress for my actual exams. This was a little different in previous year, cos I do learn from mistakes. I was afraid that getting good grades in prelims would mean complacency for actual exams, in order to refrain myself for being so, I had to be stressed up. thanks goodness I didnt explode hahah. Im pretty confident of my stress handling skills lol opps jwi song ham ni da (sorry in korean), I guess Ive written too much lol in short, I learnt a lot in TG and June Project. They are all damn fun stuff. Just join if you'd the chance to.

To add on, I forgotten was it facebook or on twitter that I wrote I must emerged victorious on the 16th. with that I meant, victorious in june project, and family. and yes, I did. during the last week, last lap, towards 16th june (show day) something bad happened in my family. was pretty critical that I had to forgo a training with my casts. family is of most importance. and yup, slightly before the show time, my family got together even more cohesively than before i think :) And, Im grateful for that.

Im missing June Project already :( BY THE WAY, its full house that noon. the hall and alternative room with live feed were over spilled lol AWESOME!

copyrighted: zi jing

Aside the above, Im gonna share a recent Korean song with you guys. PAPARAZZI!!! SCREAM!! lol The more I listen to this song, the more catchy it gets. BOOM BOOM BOOM! ;D SNSD's awesome like this. Anyway, kinda opened my eyes looking at Yoona after so many MVs. I think Yoona looks the best in this MV, not forgetting my pretty Tae Yeon :) However, my pretty lady Tiffany doesnt seem to be that boomz in this MV :( Or rather, in recent appearance her face does look a little off. Im refering to excessive plastic surgeries la. Too stiff. 

And and and... if not without pause function, I couldnt tell which is Tiffany and which is Taeyeon in their suit outfit. TOO SIMILAR LOL

<3

自以为是。

Can totally feel how he felt then. Ugh, I must have been a clown.

自以为是。

What is this. Cant imagine that my first post after the exams is actually with regards to such bo liao guy. ugh

Anyway, was kept busy with June Project. Cos... I'm directing! haha kinda stress, but definitely that's a good experience to juggle with. Prolly, after June Project Ill miss directing. And I may even go in depth into directing and production. ahah. despite my zero onscreen acting experience.

Korean class starting today, Im kinda regretting to have bought the deal cos its all the way at City Hall. Far, and a good excuse for me to shop? On a brighter note, I'm actually quite excited for that too. ^^

Ohyea, aside the bo liao guy issue that makes me go worrying about everything. No, Im not. haha so, have agreed to go out just for one time, since that was arranged way before during my exams period or before. Have to keep my promise. And that shall be the last outing we have. ahah! Its free anyway! lol

yea, aside that, hmm I think Im falling in love! :P okay la, maybe not love. but at least I do feel a little bit for that guy (another person la) Shall see how it goes. Cant catch what he's thinking. I guess, he cant catch mine too. So, we shall all put on a poker face.

Love is in the air! :D

Its good to be loved, its good to love someone who loves you too. But, for me, this is not the time :) heh So, its good to find love without having the someone notice you love him/her. lol quote of the day, complicated right...

Aishh! Must be all the nonsense 'enlightenment' i got from the influence of We Got Married.

Intruded

Do you ever feel stuck between being frank but may risk losing face and being indirect for fear of hurting another person?

Ugh.

There are certain things or activities that we do with people whom we prefer to do it with. E.g, friends or family or lover. Maybe for some girls, in this context, don't really mind going out with a guy whom they know, BUT rarely speak to and doesn't really appeal to them too. Or they don't view this as a bighoohaa than I do. Yea, Im kinda conservative. Hmm... Maybe not conservative, rather, Im a person who go for feelings/emotions. If I dont feel good or comfortable, then no.

Seriously... Im using my intuition to detect if this guy is going overboard. Yes, I hope Im wrong about that.

Probably thats why, the organisation has always been teaching us not to go into such relationship. This guy apparently doesn't fit to be a leader. Cos' is that what he should do? Evidently, not.