Friends

Friends are important, influential. However, not so in all cases. Was actually cracking my brain thinking what are friends, what are friends for. One thing I concluded was, Friends are for making use of each other. Right? You make use of your friends when you needed something from them, could be, printing notes, copying notes you missed out, their hugs when you needed one, their care and concern when you are down. And yet, not exactly making use, because they make use of you, you make use of them would be called as Helping Each Other. haha So, friends help each other. Its a kinda unspoken relationship that is, when you help that person you dont expect the person to help you back, but the person will just help you when you needed it. Of course, I have friends who totally relied on me, which I dont really like. Though Sociology great man once teaches to make other rely on you and yourself being less dependent on others, this is true for organisational theories, not individuals as a human. Friends are influential if the person's mindset is not stable, unsure and undetermined of what he himself is doing. Kind of sad that I have being living in others life. Not the kind that I have no purpose in life. But, I might not be behaving like what I should behave. And how am I supposed to behave? I can clearly say that no one knows the answer to that. Just dont settle and keep moving on. Find your true self. Its versatile, not fixed like how personality changes so do people. So, coming back to think, Im me even though I think I might not have behave like myself. This 'unique' and criss-crossed thinking is uniquely me.

Quoting to the friends issue. Yes I do have friends issue. Im only close to a few people. And just merely friends with some. Maybe some friendships are in between the closest and mere, just like a few. I dont know if they will reciprocate, but whatever, Ive learned through the hard way, to treat people with sincerity. Sensei has taught us, just like how parents told their kids that what is good and whats not. Kids just dont learn till they learn it the hard way.I do regret and reflect. Thats only when things seems to reach its dead end or... when things turned out really bad. Just hope I will be able to change the things around for good :) all the best to me? 

Things that saddened me a lot is, when you are not making use of your friends, or rather you are letting them suck you dry and they turn around to accuse you are the one sucking them dry. For example, friend A and B do not know each other, only through me that they got together really well. I think. Then, when the time arrive that I am meeting friend A, contacting her via smses. She did not reply. Then, when I reach the place and book seats already to realise that friend A and B are together and have gotten their own seats at the other side. And Im alone. Thanks really. So, look, Ive booked the seats and so called asked her out in advance. Guess, this is how I treated my friends previously thats why they treated me this way? Im a bad friend then. And another case somewhat similar, I booked seats for people and Im not supposed to. Smsed the person. The person MIA like how Friend A did. And at that moment, I knew that history gonna repeat. Im gonna sit alone again. I could have shift my seats to their place but no because I thought if this is the way how we treat each other then, there is no need for us to get together, we might be sitting close but our hearts are not. We are distance apart. Utterly disappointed by them and much so, by myself. 

To you, What are friends?